By now you’ve heard about the bigoted douche-baggery of Chic-Fil-A and you’ve sworn them off until they get their act together. You have sworn them off, right? If not click here. I’ll wait…
I haven’t been to a Chic-Fil-A since I stopped eating meat, but I understand that I am the minority and most people are fretting over where to get their “chikin” sandwich and waffle fry fix.
Well fret no more, for you’re angry lesbian fairy godmother is here!
For those of you still eating meat, try the Chick-Fil-Gay sandwich, or better yet, try going vegan! You’ll earn extra points on your ‘L’ card:)
For a vegan chicken sandwich, I highly recommend Boca Spicy Chick-Patties. I fed these to my carnivore DXH on several occasions and he never knew the difference.
I’ve found that the easiest way to prepare a chick-patty is to wrap in a paper towel, microwave for 1 minute and then place in a toaster on medium setting. Takes less than 2 minutes and is perfectly crunchy on the outside.
I serve this on a toasted potato bread roll with plenty of Earth Balance melted on it and topped with lettuce, tomato, onion, sliced avocado, eggplant “bacon”, and of course, 2 pickle slices.
“But what about the waffle fries?” you ask?
Fuck waffle fries!
Have frips instead!
Frips are a hybrid of fries and chips and are healthier than waffle fries because they are not contaminated with hateful assholes posing as Christians.
Frips:
1 medium russet potato per person
vegetable oil
salt, pepper, garlic powder and onion powder to taste
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Rinse and pat dry each potato, place potatoes in microwave for 3 minutes (no need to poke with a fork, potatoes won’t be in microwave long enough to explode), take potatoes out of microwave and allow to cool for 5-10 minutes, (depending on how tough your hands are) and remove skins by rubbing with a kitchen towel (optional, the skins are a great source of vitamins and fiber so I like to leave them on) and slice into rounds with a sharp knife somewhere between 1/4″ and 1/2″ thick. You want them thicker than a chip, but not as thick as a fry, hence the name “frips”. Generously grease a jellyroll pan with vegetable oil and place potatoes in an even layer and season to your liking. This is one of the rare instances where I recommend garlic powder as opposed to fresh garlic as fresh garlic will burn and not stick to the potatoes. Get creative with the spices, sometimes I use turmeric and paprika for a curry-like flavor and sometimes I add chili powder. There is no right or wrong way to season them. Place jellyroll pan in preheated oven and bake for 20 minutes. Remove from oven, flip frips with a spatula, add more seasonings and place back into oven for an additional 20 minutes. Allow to cool for 5-10minutes before serving.
I make this recipe often but I never have a chance to get a picture as my family devours them within seconds (by “family” I mean me). Photo will be uploaded next time I make them, I promise:)
hummuscidalmaniac 