Ten Most Willfully Ignorant Fuckwitted Dickwads of 2015

Firstly, if you’re wondering about my run-on titles, it’s because punctuation and symbols make blog posts less googlable. I apologize for any incon  no I don’t. I don’t apologize for shit. Get the fuck over it.

Moving right along…

Unless you’ve been trapped in the most extreme Duggar-esque circumstances, you have access to information, therefor ignorance is a choice.

I was born and raised in a region of the country that still reenacts a war we LOST, and had to outlaw snake handling.

I repeat, the government had to get involved to stop folks from playing with poisonous snakes.

SNAKES!!!

I went to a school where hunting was an excused absence (though my endocrinologist’s appointments, necessary to manage my T1D, were not) and our middle school Valentine’s dance had a daycare center. (<– I might be exaggerating there, but only a little bit!)

For most of my life, I’ve suffered from debilitating technophobia; I failed computer basics 101 twice at a 2 year school I attended for 4 years, (and still never earned a degree). I didn’t have an email or any social media accounts until 2010, and even then I had an @aol address, and my BFF set up and ran my Facebook. I didn’t own a smart phone until 2014, and that was only because my grandma decided to upgrade to an iphone and gave me her droid. (Thanks again, Grandma!)

Anywho, my point is, if I can manage to educate myself, so can these fuckers. Here are the 10 most willfully ignorant, fuckwitted dickwads of 2015 in no particular order.

10) Starner Jones. I know his letter to the editor is several years old, but 2015 is coming to an end, and he’s still standing by this shit, claiming he’s “far from privileged” and “hung with the right crowd and applied himself”. Guess what, assclown, if you had the option of a “right crowd”, you’re fucking privileged. Your best reviews are mediocre 3 stars, so congratulations on “applying” yourself to be average.

9) This cuntcake. Her fuckery gained nationwide attention in 2013, and she has continued to double down on the ignorance into 2015. At one point, Miss Thang threatened to sue Psychology Today (great page, btw, follow them!) for “copyright infringement” because they used her PUBLIC profile pic in an article on narcissism.

First, the photographer owns every photo they take, even if you’re the subject, so she was the first to commit “copyright infringement” by using it as a profile pic.

Second, when a reputable publication run by professional mental health experts sees fit to use you as an example of text book narcissism, and your response is “ZOMG! They didn’t ask to use my public profile pic! I’m gonna sue!”, you ain’t helping your case.

fit mom2

fit mom 4

fit mom3

8) Crossfit. Does anyone know a paleo-crossfitter who’s not an insufferable, sanctimonious, fuckstick? *Crickets* Yeah, that’s what I thought. Eat your porpoise jerky, be sad, and shut the fuck up.

Backwards hat? Reeealy? If you can look at this fuckbucket and not want to break shit, you should be canonized.

Backwards hat? Obvious veneers? Is there some sort of fuckboy emporium these losers shop at? If you can look at this fuckbucket geezer and not want to break shit, you should be canonized.

7) Assholiana Grandouche`. I have a general disdain for poptwats to begin with, but in addition to being a shitty artist, she’s a shitty human. How entitled must one feel to

a) Lick anything without consent, and

b) Blame it on obesity???

That’s even more fuckwitted than the Twinkie Defense, which saved Dan White’s ass from a murder conviction, so I shouldn’t be surprised Grandouche` is saved from any form of accountability. #WhyIHateAmerica #YeahISaidIt

Classy.

Classy.

Yeah, poptwat, you fucked up royally, but instead of hoping everyone forgets about it, try making amends. Reimburse the business owner, pay his health department fines, and for once in your pathetic existence, use your privilege and influence for something meaningful. Sponsor a girl scout troupe, or fund a community garden. Hell, color coordinating your bunny costumes would do more for society than your larynx diarrhea “music” ever could.

Taken without permission from hollywood.com

Taken without permission from hollywood.com

6) The vulvarly obsessed  Cathy Brennen and her vaginions. Plumbing doesn’t define a human. Even my 6 and 8 year old nephews understand some girls have “doodles” (I had nothing to do with their chosen genital terminology. That’s 1000% their mother’s doing.). It’s not a terribly difficult concept. 

5) The Duggars. All of them, but especially Jim Bob. Josh is unequivocally a predator, but Jim Bob created him, encouraged him, and enabled him.

As the self appointed “head of the household” by virtue of his dick (*head* of the household, gigity), it was his responsibility to prevent Josh’s fuckery. He not only refused Josh the help he needed, but was quick to find him a new victim and marry them off at 20 years old so she could start squatting out more victims.

Make no mistake about it; in the fucked up world of Gothard quiverfull, Anna never had a choice in any of this. Even now, she’s a grown ass 27 year old mother of four, and relegated to sleeping in the girls dorm at her in-laws cult compound. Why? Because independent bedrooms lead to independent thoughts, which lead to Christian rock music, pink lemonade, ladies’ slacks, and other forms of Satanism?

Seriously, can’t adult protective services step in?

4) Abigail Fisher.

I just can't with this bitch again right now. Moving right along...

I just can’t with this eyebrowless neanderthal  right now. It hurts to even try. Moving right along…

3) This fucker who had the grapenuts to whine to my boss. Who’d a thunk using the ‘N’ word in front of an angry biracial feminazi dyke would end badly?!

BTW, I took Big Mama and Big Daddy to a doctor’s appointment in Colonial Heights Va a couple weeks ago, and whadyaknow, they managed to not steal any cars or sell drugs. How peculiar…  Almost as if criminal behavior isn’t intrinsic to people of color… But probably disappointing to someone with a self-proclaimed “$500 a day blow habit”. “Blow” it out your flat ass, fuckboy.

PS, I’m still employed, and this loser’s been fired from 3 different jobs since. It’s only been THREE months! Oh, but it’s *totally* black people who are too lazy to hold down a job <sarcasm font>. And no, I had nothing to do with it. His own ignorant dumb fuckery did him in. #KarmaBeeYOTCH #HitsBlunt

2) This prick who’s somehow still my FB friend. I guess I was asking a lot by expecting him to read.

1) This Fuckboy. A friend of a FB friend who couldn’t even scroll past a feminist meme without throwing a hissy fit because his precious manfeelz were being ignored. And MRAs wonder why they’re single.

Why MRAs can't get a date

Stolen from As Seen on Tinder.

If I’ve forgotten anyone, please feel free to drop them in the comments!

As always, thanks for reading 🙂

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One thought on “Ten Most Willfully Ignorant Fuckwitted Dickwads of 2015

  1. Pingback: Wooden Family Christmas Newsletter 2016 and Photo Dump | hummuscidalmaniac

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