As my mom has always said “It’s more important to be proactive than reactive”, and this post is most definitely reactive. After the following exchange on her own blog, (and reupping on “herbal supplements” *cough*) I realize I took my anger at all body shamers out on Ms Kang because she made an easy target as a public figure. I stand by my convictions that body shaming, concern trolling, bullying, and offering unsolicited weight loss advice is NEVER okay, and I’ll always call it out when I see it happening, however, in the future, I’ll try to start by being peaceful instead of taking cheap shots.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ll never try to lose weight, I’ll never worry about so-called “problem areas” (My only “problem area” is my bum pancreas and bipolar reproductive system) and I’ll never work out because I fucking don’t want to, but in the future, I’ll try to focus on the intended purpose of this blog; rants and recipes 🙂 And starting this year, I’m hoping to branch out into more lifestyle subjects like crafts and upcycling projects as well as progress on building my tiny house.
I’m deleting the mean memes as it’s wrong of me to use her children as props in expressing my angst, (For that, I apologize, and I’m replacing them with kittens). That being said, the douchewaffle who inspired this post is still very much being killed off in my novel. He has a history of bullying and continues to harass a dear friend of mine, and those who know me know if you fuck with my friends, you fuck with me.
We all have that friend on Facebook, the recovering addict who replaced drug use with working out and fills your news-feed with this crap:
“It’s 9 am and I’ve already got my workout in and now I’m fixing a beef and kale protein shake. #feelingtheBURRRRRRNNN”
“Leg day was a BEAST!!! Feels like my legs are spaghetti noodles! #nopainnogain”
“Loves a woman who does squats #datass”
“Paleo is the way to go! #proteinpower”
‘Bread is for losers! #lowcarb4life”
“Making noodles from chicken breast strips because carbs are for dorks and fuck PETA! #vegetariansarefatlosers”
“The only high I need is the high that comes from running #fitnessismydrug”
Jesus tap dancing Christ! I liked this guy better when he was coked out of mind, but whatever, those types of posts I can ignore. I don’t expect everyone to have the same interests as me and I’m sure plenty of folks roll their eyes at my pet photos, though I must say, looking at hundreds of cat photos is a small price to pay for my witty social commentary:)
Then he started posting shit like this:
Fuck you, Big Daddy, this douchetard thinks I’m fat, so find your own ride to the cardiologist. I have to exercise or some high school dropout who installs windshield wipers for a living won’t want to fuck me!
Hold the fuck up, burgers, fries, and sodas are bad for me?! Whaaaaat?! I had no idea!
I’ve discussed the fallacies of this meme before, but seriously, why do fit people assume fat people are stupid? This is not only condescending, and grossly overgeneralized, it does absolutely nothing to help this “obesity epidemic” they keep crying about. If you’re a fitness enthusiast, and your goal is honestly to promote a healthy lifestyle, then the images depicted after the equal sign should be numbers; blood glucose, cholesterol, potassium, not spray-tanned barbie and ken dolls.
And then there’s my personal favorite:
First of all, I don’t owe you, or anyone else an “excuse” for the way I look. Second, when you are called out for fat shaming, the adult response is to offer a REAL apology, admit to fucking up, and re-post the photo with a different caption, NOT issue this bullshit “apology” placing the blame on those offended:
“I’m sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won’t go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two businesses, have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer. What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It’s yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn’t create them. You created them. So if you want to continue ‘hating’ this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life.You can either blame, complain or obtain a new level of thought by challenging the negative words that come out of your own brain.
With that said, obesity and those who struggle with health-related diseases is literally a ‘bigger’ issue than this photo. Maybe it’s time we stop tip-toeing around people’s feelings and get to the point. So What’s Your Excuse?”
Don’t you just love how she says we need to “quit tiptoeing around people’s feelings”, yet she can’t seem to handle the few bits of constructive criticism she has received out of the THOUSANDS of fan mail? Seriously, go look at her Facebook page, she’s throwing herself a big ol’ pity party because it bothers her that some of us have the “audacity” to stick up for ourselves and how dare we feel “entitled” to be fat?! Yeah, she said that. But don’t bother writing on her wall, she doesn’t have the pussy juice to post anything that’s not praise.
In case you didn’t notice, I don’t tolerate shit like this, so I wrote the following open letter to Mrs Kang on my Facebook:
An open letter to Maria Kang:
Dear Mrs Kang,
Get over yourself. It’s okay to be proud of your accomplishments, it’s not okay to shame other women for having different priorities than you. Speaking as a former gym rat who also is genetically predisposed to being fat, I know for a fact that you don’t get a body like that working out for only an hour a day. Take some ownership, you look the way you do because you sacrifice time with your children for time at the gym. No one owes you an “excuse” for not working out, but you will one day owe your children an excuse for not being there for them. The adult thing to do after being called out for your fat shaming statement (whether you meant it to be shaming or not), would have been to issue a REAL apology, acknowledge that you fucked up, and re-post the photo with a different phrase, instead you chose to deflect the blame onto those offended and continue a fat shaming tirade. THAT’S why you’re a bad person and a bad example for your children, not because I “chose to resonate hate” (that doesn’t even make sense, btw). Grow the fuck up.
Soon after posting that, I was called “anti-feminist”, accused of being jealous, and told that I could look like that too, if I would only get up off my ass.
I don’t know what exactly I have to be jealous of, I’m not tied down to a husband and three kids, my vag is still in one piece, and I’m not so filled with self-doubt that I have to resort to shaming others for their looks in order to feel better about myself.
And that is what’s wrong with this country. We live in a society in which not only is bullying acceptable, but when those of us being bullied stick up for ourselves, somehow the bully is the victim, and it’s assumed that women like me want to lose weight. It shouldn’t bother people that I don’t hate myself. It shouldn’t shock people when I describe myself as beautiful. Confidence is sexy, own that shit without tearing others down.