The Princess & The Chickpea Part II;

First, a sincere apology for the lack of posts in the last two months, it turns out that employment is quite time consuming! And now part II of the fairy tale:

Princess Nicolette summoned the court jester, Patrick, and her friend, Princess Katia from the nearby village of Pinneyville to devise a plan of ridding Sharvonia of the ogres once and for all.

“This is indubitably unfortunate indeed!” Patrick exclaimed

“Patrick, for the last time, quit making up words and take the lamp shade off thou head. This is serious!”

“Hark, for I hate to break it to thee, but ‘indubitably’ is a real word. But seriously, Patrick, remove the lamp shade from thou head” Princess Katia said.

The trio took a brief recess from their planning to find a dictionary.

“Well I’ll be bafoonered”  The princess said after Patrick read the definition of “indubitably” aloud.

“Bafoonered?” Patrick asked.

“‘Bafoonered’ exists not in the dictionary ” Katia added.

Patrick and Katia began to flip through the ‘B’ section of the dictionary in an effort to prove their superior intelligence.

“What are thee doing? Thee won’t find ‘bafoonered’ in the dictionary, Thee will need to search the NIK-tionary”  Princess Nicolette explained. “Now lets get back to work. How are we going to get rid of the ogres?”

“Perhaps we should challenge them to a game of ale pong” Patrick suggested. “Loser must leave Sharvonia”

“I would be more inclined to take thee seriously if thee would remove the lamp shade from thou head” Princess Nicolette said.

“Never! For this lamp shade is thine thinking cap”

The princesses shook their heads.

“Well Patrick is on to something as far as challenging them, for the ogres never decline a challenge. We just need to challenge them to something that we know we will beat them at and ale pong is certainly not it! Remember the last time thee participated in ale pong? Thy royal Yaris shall never be the same!” Princess Katia said.

Princess Katia and Patrick shared a hearty laugh.

“Thee two may laugh all thee want, but I woke up with thine panties still on and nary a ring on my finger so I count that evening’s debauchery as a success”

“Thee woke up with whose panties on?” Patrick asked “For thee wore nary an undergarment that evening and I have the photographs to prove it!”

Princess Nicolette glared at Patrick but he didn’t notice as he was still wearing the lamp shade on his head.

“What about a mud jousting?” Princess Katia suggested. “For thou own brother is the mud jousting champion in all the land! I’m sure he’ll let thee borrow ‘Royal Pimpin’ and give thee a few pointers!”

“Prince Bubba III would sooner part with his left testicle than allow me to ride his beloved mud horse! We need another plan”

“Perhaps I can convince him”  Princess Katia said with a suggestive wink.

“Princess Katia!” Princess Nicolette exclaimed thoroughly scandalized “Thee harlot! Prince Bubba III is married!”

“NO!” Princess Katia shouted “I meant he’s always requesting permission to ride his royal dirt bike on the hills of thine estate. I’ll grant him permission if he’ll let thee ride Royal Pimpin’ and help thee win a mud jousting against the ogres!”

“Princess Katia, thou art a genius!”

Too be continued…

Advertisements